OMG My Ovaries Exploded

Best song ever. Classic example of combining a lot of so-so things to make a masterpiece. Thank you technology, thank you OCD causing me not to be able to enjoy a full song. Just throw all the hooks together, which is usually the best part of a song which we mumble through the lesser lyrics for anyway. Remember when mash ups where only two songs? This song takes five lesser songs and makes a Pussycat Dolls. Play this at my funeral. Get outta my way... Outta my way

Word of the day: Lesser


Excerpt 20 of 365,000,000


"Don't look so disturbed it just the beginning."

- Excerpt from - We'll be Americans

Excerpt 19 of 365,000,000


"We’re all packed in the gym. Performing military presses for our shoulders, dumbbell flies to fill in the center of the chest, sweating, soreness, suffering, working out for the same girl. She deosn’t know our name and we don’t know hers, but we have made eye contact with her breasts her butt and her arms. Sometimes her eyes.

The girl on the outer thigh machine.

Everyday she comes in at seven reading Peoples magazine using the outer thigh machine not looking to see what weight the machine is set at. Monday she was moving 10lbs and today it is 70, howerver she moves it at the same deliberate pace. She just sits down spreads her legs, spreads her thighs, arching her back. Knees pushing against the pad forcing her legs open for the maximum recruitment of muscle fibers. We are desperatelty seeking the approval of the

The girl on the outer thigh machine

Pumping biceps in sleeveless shirts, we're all in the gym for her,

The girl on the outer thigh machine

Downing a cocktail of supplements, creatine, protein, arginine for

The girl on the outer thigh machine

We hope she notices all this work, all this flexing, all this hair removal, all this tanning, all these reps, engorging every muscle in our bodies with blood, increasing the girth and thickness of our quads, extending the bicep peak, in an attempt to transform ourselves into a single hard muscle, turning the body into one giant throbbing penis, hard to the touch."

Excerpt from The Girl On The Outer Thigh Machine

Excerpt 16 of 365,000,000


"Some outcomes are predictable. Labor Law X causes Unemployment Y. Happy Hour Q causes Domestic Abuse V. Grow up in Suburb Bubble W causes Tremendous Sense of Entitlement H. However, some causes always lead to unexpected outcomes. Short Skirt Sale X causes Feelings of Unattainable Expectations Y, leading to Whole Costco Pizza Consumption R, ending in Staring in the Mirror Self Disgust K."

Excerpt from - The View From the 100th Floor