Peering over the balcony of the hundredth floor, the city is my petri dish. I’ve analyzed him for weeks, the man on the street, the one that sleeps beneath my balcony. He and the other organisms avoid each other’s glances at stoplights, bump into each other at coffee shops, and collide into each other in dimly lit bedrooms; all within the walls of the dish, all within the confines of the city limits.
“Honey, didn’t I tell you to pour water on the stoop so he can’t sleep there anymore,” I hear my girlfriend yell from the living room. She is referring to Bright Eyes, the man I’ve been analyzing.
At this altitude, the people on the street not only appear smaller they move slower; the closer you are to a large mass, in this case the earth, the slower time passes. Conversely time moves faster on the 100th floor, I age slightly faster than my neighbors on the 99th floor. It is indiscernible to most people because gauging it is either beyond their means comprehend or irrelevant to them.
I yell back into the living room, “Chelle, he’s one of those special homeless people, the kind that start developing resistance to our cures, like an HIV virus, he just keeps mutating. I’m telling you, the more we try to mess with him the stronger he’s getting. Trying to contain him is like trying to hold mercury that has no home and unemployed, in one’s hand.”
When I am around her I have to be someone else, I can’t let her know how smart I am. It would scare her, scare most people that I know she has exactly 105 eyelashes on her left eye lid and 106 on her right, that I have created several charts that display every possible shoe, top, bottom combination, or that she uses an average of eight minutes to decide what to wear and that she goes through an average of sixty one of those 2,000 combinations and that she inevitably settles on twenty of those combinations.
“Just pour some water...wait, come take a look at these new shoes I got first,” she says.
Combinations possible: 206
“It's not a good idea. Last Tuesday when I was coming home late from the lab, I saw him getting sprayed by the street cleaning trucks that come every at 2:00am. I was laughing so hard, I was barely able to record a video and upload to YouTube. The video was all wobbly, so naturally, this week I waited in my car. I was shaking, shivering, because I was trying to compose myself while holding in my laughter, but this time, he just laid there with his clothes laid down nicely to welcome the blast of water. He was a adapting, he was a learning homeless."
Excerpt From - The 100th Floor Balcony
want to smoke it into my lungs and brain.
Some psychology professionals and many laymen now mean 'addiction' to include abnormal psychological dependency on such things as gambling, food, sex, pornography, computers, internet, work,exercise, idolising, watching TV or certain types of non-pornographic videos, spiritual obsession, cutting and shopping.
Lady Gaga Medley
I'm almost 29. I throw up a little every time I think about it. It's just a number, but what 35 year old woman* would shop at a store called Forever 29? I don't look 29. I sure don't act like it, but what matters are my old man memories.
I remember when you didn't want or need to know everything. No, knowing the definition of fecundity or settling a dispute among friends regarding the difference between Chris Tucker and Chris Rock will not make you a better person, it will just add to the list of things you'll look up and never use. I wonder if celebrities ever google us to see what cellphone camera movies we’ve starred in, what malls we've worked at, or the community colleges we went to?
So in a sense the older you get the more you get displaced from the present. Your memories don’t allow yourself to be present.
I'm sorry the impossibilities are over. Mommy isn’t there to say, you can be anything you want, even president. I can't quit my job and join the NFL or NBA anymore, I can't go to school again and choose a new major, I can't become mayor. It is a fuckin tragedy, like that guy who invented a cell phone that could play music because it had a cassette player built in. It boasted having dual cassette decks so you could have twenty, count em, twenty songs on your five pound phone without opening the deck to insert a new cassette. He was a laughing stock when his coworker presented the cellphone/mp3 player at the annual stock holders meeting.
But,
Maybe instead of the memories serving as concrete points in time for comparisons, they can serve as stepping stones. Maybe we can reflect on the improvements around our world and in our selves. Maybe I’m an adult prodigy. There is a stigma with youth and genius. When I was in Mexico, no one was amazed at my Spanish skills, they said my grammar sounded like I was in Middle School, but if I was a first grader and sounded like an eighth grader I would be a prodigy. See? You have to have your breakthroughs early. Keep these things in mind, Kobe Bryant didn’t become great until he was in his late twenties, same with Kanye West. So age doesn't limit possibilities a long as your're improving. Age can be viewed as a door opening wider and wider rather than a door closing ever so slightly everyday.
Above is Brad Pitt at 39 and Will Smith at 39. I guess my best days are yet to come.
*speaking of 35 year old women
Why does she look hella old? She’s only twenty one. And why does she have a voice of someone much, much, hotter?
