Excerpt 20 of 365,000,000

"Don't look so disturbed it just the beginning."

- Excerpt from - We'll be Americans

Excerpt 19 of 365,000,000

"We’re all packed in the gym. Performing military presses for our shoulders, dumbbell flies to fill in the center of the chest, sweating, soreness, suffering, working out for the same girl. She deosn’t know our name and we don’t know hers, but we have made eye contact with her breasts her butt and her arms. Sometimes her eyes.

The girl on the outer thigh machine.

Everyday she comes in at seven reading Peoples magazine using the outer thigh machine not looking to see what weight the machine is set at. Monday she was moving 10lbs and today it is 70, howerver she moves it at the same deliberate pace. She just sits down spreads her legs, spreads her thighs, arching her back. Knees pushing against the pad forcing her legs open for the maximum recruitment of muscle fibers. We are desperatelty seeking the approval of the

The girl on the outer thigh machine

Pumping biceps in sleeveless shirts, we're all in the gym for her,

The girl on the outer thigh machine

Downing a cocktail of supplements, creatine, protein, arginine for

The girl on the outer thigh machine

We hope she notices all this work, all this flexing, all this hair removal, all this tanning, all these reps, engorging every muscle in our bodies with blood, increasing the girth and thickness of our quads, extending the bicep peak, in an attempt to transform ourselves into a single hard muscle, turning the body into one giant throbbing penis, hard to the touch."

Excerpt from The Girl On The Outer Thigh Machine

Women Need To Be More Like Gay Guys...or Talk Dirty Like Straight Guys Hitting On Other Straight Guys?

I think this is the single most nastiest and creative line I've ever seen, it pulled on my heart strings...

Full Video Here

You're So Hot with Chris Mintz-Plasse and Dave Franco from Dave Franco

Excerpt 16 of 365,000,000

"Some outcomes are predictable. Labor Law X causes Unemployment Y. Happy Hour Q causes Domestic Abuse V. Grow up in Suburb Bubble W causes Tremendous Sense of Entitlement H. However, some causes always lead to unexpected outcomes. Short Skirt Sale X causes Feelings of Unattainable Expectations Y, leading to Whole Costco Pizza Consumption R, ending in Staring in the Mirror Self Disgust K."

Excerpt from - The View From the 100th Floor

WOW

I hate using the word FAIL because it's a term the youngins use, but this video is major FAIL. This video's cringe worthiness is on par with the "maggot removeal from an eyeball video" (If you don't know what I mean, look it up on YouTube). You can almost see the hosts body language say, "What a fuckin idiot. I already told you twice, you don't have to get near the microphone. If his ability to follow directions is any indication of his personality, I'll bet his jokes will bomb."

Lesson Learned: White boys who are on Carmen Sandiego as contestants, don't try this at home.