Skinny Jeans Awareness Month

"Fail."

That's what Freddy tells me as I say, "I need to change my shoes" before we head out to play Football with a group of 6th graders.

Today, I'm assisting in a Young Men's group program, we were making snowflakes, but our males minds wander, we are too savage to make paper snowflakes out of florescent green, blue, and pink paper. We tap into our inner hunter, and some of the boys tap into their inner flamboyant gatherer (Hey guys! I found some nuts!) and we decide to abandon the project and play football.

Freddy is bigger and stronger than most of his peers, and in his vital stage of development he qualifies everyone because he doesn't know any better: she's hot, he's a nerd, and to him,

I am skinny jeans.

I need to run to my car and change out of my Dorthyesque red shoes, slip out of my skinny jeans that slink off my legs like pantyhose, and my cleavage revealing v-neck to put on my

XL basketball shorts

XL shirt that is torn at the sides to show off my solid shoulders and upper back muscles.

And my Nike basketball sneakers

To Freddy, I am that Asian guy in skinny jeans, that gets his haircut for 60 dollars at a Japanese salon, by stylists, that gives massages afterwards.

I'm going to have to show Freddy that the man makes the skinny jeans and not the other way around.

I remember not long ago, in a time before skinny jeans....

When no one queer eyed a straight guy, tight pants were known as "nutters" because they accentuated the male sack the opposite of camel toe.

I remember being on the Bart train with my black hoodie, black sagging size 36 jeans with my Jordans and du rag reading Shakespeare just to show them, that I would not stab them, that I was articulate despite my appearance. I showed them that

That we should not be judged on the content of our urban clothing, but on the content of our character.

Today

I'm going to show them that we should not to be judged by our deep florescent green V necks, but the content of our football skills.

So, after I do my superman clothes changing impression, I show my athletic prowess, which is amplified 10 fold because I'm playing with 11 year olds. I score touch downs with ease, block passes.

To me...

Skinny jeans is a statement, I want you to see my bulge, it's saying I'm out there, not out of the closet, because in the skinny jean world there are no closets, it's saying that woman I understand what you feel when you cant fit your jeans anymore girl, its saying I'm skinny and I'm proud.

I guess whatever stereotype we supposedly fit, we will always have an urge to prove that we are not like that, that we are more than our clothes, our hobbies, etc. Well always have a need to show them if we truly are the kind of people we want to be.

Take care of yourself, and each other.