Alaska

Some traditions should die. The video below is features the World Eskimo-Indian Olympics, featuring an Ear Pulling Contest. Whenever I watch this video, I can't help but think this is why Sarah Palin exists.

"It's what we do. It's what we know."

Deep Breath.

First of all, Ear Pulling is not a sports event. Second, the only Ear Pulling Contest I've ever seen is in two in the morning when a homeless meth addict tried to go down on himself outside a club, but somehow manages to get his ear stuck in the first rung of his sneaker shoe lace. Not only does he not untie his shoe laces, he proceeds to yank his head back all the way from his auto-fellatio position back to sitting position. Then the man passes out from exhaustion, not even leaving enough energy to finish himself off. He's probably the best ear puller to never go pro, talents wasted on blowing himself, and working at Best Buy, the shame is that he could have worked his way all to the top of the heights of the world Eskimo Olympics, and win a 50 Best Buy gift certificate like this years champion.

Fun fact:

• Alaska has 1 bookmobile. In comparison, California has 69.

And I don't think I'm culturally intolerant, the man in the video says he practices by putting a nail in the wall and pulling it out with his ear. Obama get these people a ball to bounce, a community pool, or another book mobile for Christs sakes!