I tell my therapist that I hate Weekbegins.
"So you have a case of the Mondays?" she replies.
No.
I don't have a case of the Mondays.
I have a case of the Weekbegins. I have what normal people have on Mondays, spread out across three days. Weekbegins are Mondays and Tuesdays and Wednesdays because it's humpday, the three days that are furthest from the Weekend. On Sunday evening I feel the starting onset of a depression that doesn't go away until the Weekends, but it lessens on Thursdays.
I can deal with Thursday because you know it's going to be Friday the next day, and I'm fine with Friday because, well... it's Friday.
She tells me to elaborate.
There will never be a restaurant called T.G.I.Mondays, and if there were, it would serve shit sandwiches, with a side of Is-This-What-My-Life-Has-Come-To fries and a I-Might-Columbine-My-Work-Place shake. You don't want to go there. And I agree they should change the name of their menu items to something less melancholy.
A case of the Weekbegins is absolutely debilitating, life draining, an emotional existential black-hole.
Why aren't we as a society up in-arms, wearing colored wrist bands for the elimination of this disease? Anyone with a job can attest to a case of the Weekbegins. Worst than AIDS I tell you. Can we please cure something we've all had?
Studies show (My own study) that the world's worst atrocities in History were on Monday or at least on the first three days of the week. When was the last time you heard of a hostage situation on a Saturday, or a bomb threat on Sunday? You don't. You'd be too busy enjoying life, rethinking you're whole I'm angry at the world thing. BBQ with the wife and kids, clubbing with your friends on your reality show, driving your yacht to a clam bake on an island you own. Bikini's everywhere, even the men.
Netflix.
You could finally catch up on your Netflix.
and you'd be happy
Columbine happened on a Tuesday (couldn't of happened on a Thursday or Friday too close to weekend)
Discovery Channel Hostage situation on a Wednesday
Hiroshima happened on a Monday
cased
FUCKIN
CLOSED.
Weekends shouldn't be so sought after. It just shows how much the rest of week blows. We love the weekends so much it's a surprise we don't kill our selves Monday through Friday.
She scoots up her chair and says, "Tell me more. Tell me more about your theories about the world."
Solid post. Fuck work. I want to move to a hot place and live cheaply, and bask in the sun. I wouldn't have to work much to live on a cheap budget in a nice little hut on the beach.
ReplyDelete