E-CON

“There is no emotion or love involved in decisions based on economic rationality.” —Lourdes Benería

Growing up in the eighties and nineties was a golden age for sci-fi, we were taught to fear that one day our mighty technological advances would come to be our folly as humans. Skynet would nuke everything once it became self-aware, machines would use us as human batteries and dangle a carrot in front of us in the form of false reality, and we would make time machines that would cause our moms to fall in love with us. We are in the year twenty ten and none of these things has come to pass, however, what we let slip by is the cold calculating human economic rationality.

Economics means math, and even at a young age, the stupidest among our peers had a strong suspicion to hate math. We knew at a young age that math meant "showing your work", fractions, and unsolvable problems. Math meant thinking, thinking about things abstractly. When we view things abstractly in a strictly logical way, reality becomes divisible, multipliable, and alger-bra-able.

Economic rationality lead to the recession, creating greed and dehumanizing the people bankers were stealing from.Corporations assume that more is always better based on economic rationality, the more you have, the more you produce, in economical rational terms, is good. This is the modern reality.

Economical rationality can be boiled down to formalizing the human experience into numbers. You say that's not such a bad thing, but let me give you an example. Lets say you have a fetish. And the prostitute you hire says, "Do you want me to take a number 2 on you daddy", Number two!? Number two!? That's not the dirty talk you payed for. That's not real enough for you.

Bottomline: Numbers mean bills, numbers mean age, numbers mean accountability, e.g. 2 hour lunches or 120 minutes. 120 minutes that just makes me look bad! That's a lot of minutes! I'm writing my lunch as 2/24ths of a day on my timesheet.

BTW: A little known fact, Monoploy was originally called Slave Master, and the only reason the game was scrapped was because the silver game piece used as your avatar was a choking hazard.

Under Armour Product Review

Under Armour is by far the best piece of clothing that I own. It actually wicks away sweat and moisture. It's completely dry after workouts, football games, and basketball games, and I sweat like tiger woods in a whore house. If you are even in the slightest bit of moderate shape it will make you look and feel like iron man, it's basically a male girdle. It is snug like a second skin and will sometimes ride up on you like a used condom when tiger woods is in a whore house. It will also impress the fuck out of middle schoolers and they will pick you first to be on their team.

The only knock on this product is about the false advertising. I did not become a 6'4 black guy after wearing the under armor for 4-6 weeks.

Shoplift at Safeway Month

March is Shoplift at Safeway Month. It's a shame that we give only have a month to recognize shoplifting at Safeway. Let's keep in mind that everyday should be shoplift at Safeway Month. Do your part to raise awareness.

It's best if you just straight up steal, make sure that your animal instincts aren't dead, and that your teeth are sharp. But, buy something and then steal if you must. By a deli sandwich and walk out with a 19 dollar set of buffalo wings. You saved like 5000% on those buffalo wings, and that's without a club card.

For the historical enthusiast steal some anti-itch ointment like Joseph Smith, the pioneer of shoplifting at Safeway. If you get caught blame 9/11, the death of the Olympic Luger, or Tiger Woods because he fucked your white brains out.

BTW: I borrowed a bottle of diet Coke from Safeway today.